


Heaven is a Place on Earth

by giddyseizures



Series: Falsettos/San Junipero AU [1]
Category: Black Mirror, Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: (eyes emoji), Cheating, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Multi, Rating May Change, because im gay, but we’ll see lmao, idk why i write whizzer smoking so much but??? oh well, im gonna try to not make them too much like yorkie and kelly, im so proud of this au yall, san junipero au, uh this is a self indulgent san junipero au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-03-01 22:18:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13304484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/giddyseizures/pseuds/giddyseizures
Summary: San Junipero. A place of relaxation, nostalgia, and, in Marvin's case, a sexuality crisis.





	1. There’s a First Time for Everything

**Author's Note:**

> okay so i fucking love san junipero so much yall. i watched and i immediately had the idea for this au
> 
> if you want more info about the au itself, theres a post about it on my writing tumblr (giddyseizures)
> 
> anyways. heres the fic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (edit: i fixed the chapter title!! it wasn't supposed to just be 'chapter one' but im an idiot hksjd)

Marvin stared down at the wooden bar in front of him, picking at a loose thread on his sleeve. He took a drink of his beer, grimacing at the taste. He _hated_ beer - the taste made him nauseous - despite this, he always chose it. It was the "manly" drink. His father, grandfathers, uncles... They all drank it, so naturally, he should too. _'It's an acquired taste, Marvin,'_ he remembered his father telling him, _'you'll grow to like it.'_ He tried not to overthink it, and just drink.

Marvin took another drink and mumbled, "Acquired taste, my ass."

He looked up from his drink, glancing at the exit. He debated whether he should stay or if he should just leave and wander the streets, waiting out the time left until midnight. Part of him was saying _"You know this isn't right. You can't do this to Trina and Jason. Get out of here before you make a mistake you know you'll always regret."_

But another, _stronger_ part of him was telling him _"There's no way they'll find out. You need this. The problem won't go away if you just keep ignoring it, so just do this, and you'll be done for good."_

He glanced around the room and locked eyes with a man that made the decision easy. The pit of his stomach felt like it was on fire. The other man cocked an eyebrow and sauntered over to where Marvin was, taking the seat next to him.

"What's your name?" Marvin barely gave him enough time to sit before he choked out the question, saying the first thing that came to his mind.

"Someone's eager." The man laughed slightly, taking a sip of the cocktail in front of him. "Whizzer Brown," At Marvin's questioning eyebrow, he added, "Yes, that's my real name."

Marvin laughed and replied, "I'm Marvin."

* * *

Marvin hadn't even noticed the hand that had been placed on his thigh until it started moving, slowly inching upwards.

The touch startled him, causing him to jump. "Woah! I'm-I'm not-"

"Not gay?" The man raised an eyebrow, taking his hand away. Marvin couldn't help but feel disappointed at the loss of contact. "Alright then." He stood up, the barstool scraping against the floor.

"Wait, you're just going to leave?" Marvin questioned, slightly offended.

Whizzer shrugged, and replied, "There's no point to me staying, and I'm not going to waste any more of our time." He turned to leave but stopped when he felt a hand grab his wrist, a smirk growing on his face.

"Just... stay." Marvin tried not to sound desperate, but he was betrayed by the tone of his voice.

Whizzer sat back down and knocked back the rest of the cocktail in front of him. "Buy me another drink."

Marvin grinned and waved down the bartender.

* * *

After a few minutes, the hand returned to Marvin's thigh, but this time he couldn't commit to pushing it away.

* * *

The invitation was a lot less _subtle_ than Marvin would have liked, but it was clear.

He couldn't find it in himself to refuse.

* * *

Warm summer air blew through the car's open windows as the two drove through the streets of San Junipero. The driver, having driven these same roads a million times before, was completely calm. The wind pushing his hair back and eyes fixed on the road, a cigarette hung from his lips. The passenger, on the other hand, felt like he couldn't breathe. Repeatedly, he went to twist the ring on his left hand - a nervous habit of his - and was met with nothing but his finger, a constant reminder that _he shouldn't be doing this_. He stared out the window, trying to focus on anything but his life outside of San Junipero.

Music played through the car's speakers, though neither of the men was paying any attention to it. Apart from that and the hum of the car itself, the car was silent. One found the silence comforting - an excuse to focus on the task at hand - but the other felt like he was underwater, unable to even breathe.

Usually, Marvin's nervousness would have him laughing his head off, unable to stop. His seizures never lasted long, but they definitely weren't something he needs now, of all times. Marvin cleared his throat, drawing Whizzer's attention.

"So... how long have you been in San Junipero?" He asked, unable to take the silence any longer.

"A few months." Whizzer replied, not taking his eyes off of the road. "I had started coming here in the early days when it was available to everyone in hospitals - rather than just the elderly - and ended up staying." His fingers drummed against the steering wheel. "What about you?"

Marvin stopped staring out the window and looked over at him. "Oh, I'm just passing through."

Whizzer snickered. "Wow. A closet case and a part-timer. I guess I hit the jackpot."

Marvin could _feel_ the sarcasm of the other man's words, and while he wasn't _completely_ sure of what the other man was saying, but he laughed along anyway.

Silence once again filled the car, the tension still remaining, but at least Marvin had his head above the water.

* * *

The two laid together, breathless and sated. Another cigarette rested between Whizzer's fingers. Marvin stared blankly at the ceiling, struggling to keep his eyes open.

"You really haven't slept with another man before?" Whizzer asked, taking a quick drag from his cigarette. after a beat, he rushed to add, "That wasn't a critique, by the way. That was _great_."

Marvin laughed, and replied, "Yeah. That was my first time, I guess. I mean, I've only slept with anyone one other time."

Whizzer turned his head towards Marvin. “Really?”

Marvin nodded, rolling his head to the other side to glance at the clock. "It's almost midnight." He pointed out.

"I know," Whizzer replied, looking back up at the ceiling.

Marvin paused, turning his head once again and looking over at the man next to him. "Am I going to see you again?"

If he was being honest, Whizzer wasn't sure how to answer that. Usually, the answer was a flat-out no. But this guy wasn't going to stay, so what's the harm?

He smirked and responded, "We'll just have to see."

Whizzer didn't know how wrong he would be.

The two laid in silence as the remaining minutes ticked by, both staring at the ceiling above them. In the distance, they could hear the waves crashing on the ocean and the hum of the city.

As the clock flickered to 12:00, the world faded to black around Marvin and Whizzer was left alone in an empty bed.

 


	2. Unreasonable Jealousy, Reasonable Guilt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long, but here's the second chapter!!

The next week, Marvin found himself in the same bar, the image of another man stuck in his head. If he closed his eyes, he could still feel the hands on his body, the nails scratching down his back, _the mouth on his—_

Marvin tried not to get too caught up in the memory.

So, there he sat. The same bar, the same loud, obnoxious music, roughly the same seat. There was no drink sitting in front of him, though. His knee bounced absently, shaking the bar stool he sat on. Every few minutes, he’d steal quick glances around the bar, his eyes scanning the room for a familiar face. After a while, he considered giving up the search, finding something - or some _one_ \- to occupy him until midnight.

And that’s when he spotted him.

Whizzer was sitting across the bar, his hand laid on the thigh of the man next to him. He turned his head, making brief eye contact with Marvin.

Feeling heat rise to his face, Marvin stood, the scraping of the bar stool against the floor echoing through his ears as he headed for the exit. He stormed out of the bar as quickly as his feet could take him without drawing attention to himself. Attention was the last thing he wanted in that moment.

Nausea rose in his throat, and the music of the bar behind him became a distant noise as he made his way through the crowded streets of the city.

* * *

 

He shouldn’t be jealous. He had absolutely no reason to be.

Marvin did a lot of things that he had absolutely no reason to do.

His thoughts had been racing since he saw them. He couldn’t get the image out of his head.

He was sat on the sidewalk at the edge of San Junipero, where the city met the beach.

He glanced down at the watch on his wrist. There was still another hour and a half before he would return to the world of brightening white and the sickening smell of sterilization. Looking up, he watched the ocean on the horizon. The waves were calm, flowing gently onto the sand.

In that moment, he realized that it was probably for the best that he didn’t talk to Whizzer again. It was over. He’s completely free to go back to his normal life with his wife and child, totally free of his _problem_.

But then _why does Marvin keep thinking about him?_

He looked back down at his watch. Only a few minutes had passed. Letting out a sigh, Marvin didn’t even know why he even _thought_ he should come back to San Junipero.

“Wow, you’re really going for the _‘Indie Movie Depression’_ aesthetic, aren’t you?”

Marvin jumped in surprise, spinning around to see the same man he’d been picturing for days.

“Whizzer?”

A smirk growing on his face, he sat down next to Marvin.

“What, that guy at the bar came too quickly for you?” Marvin deadpanned, sarcasm ringing through his voice.

Pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and putting one between his lips, Whizzer looked out to the water. “Turned out to be an asshole.” He shrugged and lit his cigarette.

He pulled the cigarette from his lips, exhaling a small cloud of smoke.

Looking over at him, Marvin cocked an eyebrow. “Why do you smoke so much?”

Once again, Whizzer shrugged. “I don’t know. I started when I was young, tried - and failed - to quit when I was older, and now…” He gestured to the city behind them. “What’s the harm? It’s not like I can get lung cancer or any of that shit.” He paused, once again taking a drag from his cigarette, then added, “Plus, they’re _great_ after sex.”

A pregnant pause built between them, the two men staring out towards the horizon.

Then, a thought popped into Marvin’s head. One he couldn’t ignore.

Smirking, Marvin cautiously placed his hand on Whizzer’s thigh. “Well,” he began, turning his head towards the other man. “Why don’t we make that happen?”

Whizzer snorted. “That was, without a doubt, the _worst_ pickup line I’ve ever heard.” He grinned, leaning closer to the point where their lips were _just about_ touching. “You’re lucky I’m easy.”

And, with that, he closed the space between them.

* * *

 

Just moments after the clock beside Whizzer’s bed had flickered to midnight, Marvin awoke - with a slight jump - in the cramped hospital bed. He blinked a few times, his eyes needing to adjust to the harsh fluorescent lights on the ceiling above him.

On his right, Trina was asleep in the cheap plastic chair that resided beside the bed. On the floor - near her foot - there was a styrofoam cup filled halfway with shitty hospital coffee, gone cold from being abandoned. He’d had that same coffee a thousand times before, during his shifts as a radiologist. But being on the other side of it changed _everything_.

Hearing her husband finally move, Trina lifted her head up. She stretched, trying to calm the ache the chair caused. “Marv! Hey…” She said, her words fading into a yawn.

Marvin tried not to outwardly cringe at the sound of his wife’s voice. He turned his head to look at her. “Hey, Trina.” He gave her a weak smile, trying to sound tired in the hopes that she would leave sooner. “How long have you been sitting there?”

“A couple of hours…” She paused, picking her coffee cup off of the ground and taking a sip, grimacing at the bitter taste. Family members aren’t usually allowed to be alone in rooms with patients in San Junipero, but Marvin’s sure they made an exception for Trina. _Everyone_ loves Trina. “Besides,” she continued with a slight laugh, “It’s not like there’s much else for me to do, with Jason sleeping over at a friend’s house and you in that _other world_ of yours.”

Marvin’s breath caught in his throat at the mention of San Junipero. He coughed, trying to disguise the gasp as a coughing fit.

Trina didn’t seem to notice either way. “Also, Dr. Weisenbachfeld came by. He said something about wanting to see how San Junipero was helping you.”

Marvin’s fingers tapped absently against the side of the bed. “Whatever. He’ll be back later.”

As silence fell over the room, the aching guilt rose in Marvin’s stomach. This was the worst aspect of what he was doing. The radio silence, when the weight of his actions finally sinks in. The first time he looked his wife in the eyes after that beginning night, the anxiety and guilt launched him into a seizure.

Thankfully, there was no laughter spilling from his lips. There was only the silence of the room, tightening the knot in his throat.


	3. Alive in the City of the Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another side of the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaa its finally here!!!!!! sorry for taking so long with this, i just didnt have the energy or motivation to write it for a really long time :(
> 
> but!!!! no matter what im gonna finish this fic, no matter how long it takes me hkdlkshdk
> 
> i also just got my first job!!!! so im p excited about that and i might actually have the motivation to write more lately hdlkfjk
> 
> anyway!!!! enjoy!!!!

Whizzer was quick to learn that life in San Junipero was a lot different than the real world.

In the days before he passed over to the digital world, he was confined to his hospital bed, a prisoner of his illness. He barely had the energy to sit up and talk to the nurses that frequented his room, let alone be able to do anything outside of the bed. His family rarely visited, quick to turn their backs once the media started to tell of the true nature of the disease and how it was being spread to so many men. So, he spent his days rotting away in a hospital room, waiting for his ultimate demise.

That is, up until the San Junipero program was expanded to include all long-term hospital patients, rather than just the elderly. 

His first time in San Junipero was like a child’s first trip to Disney. He couldn’t get over how it felt to actually  _ live _ again, to be able to go wherever he pleased, to breathe without the stabbing aches in his chest, to do whatever - and  _ who _ ever - he wanted without consequence. It was so life-changing for him, he was ready to pass over the moment he left, now that he had the option to stay there forever.

He didn’t know how much of a mistake that choice would be.

His body finally gave out a few weeks later, surrendering to the illness that had taken it hostage for the past months. The upload went smoothly, and before he knew it, the city had become his home. 

It was exciting for about a month. Then it was just standard. Soon enough, it was just  _ boring _ .

There was nothing  _ new _ he could do anymore. Nothing  _ exciting _ . He needed something to keep him from the same routine he had gone through a million times, something that random sex and the freaks in the Quagmire - he’d rather die again than end up like those kinky assholes - can’t give him. He needed a challenge. 

Marvin was that challenge.

He’d met plenty of men like Marvin. Desperate, closeted men who just wanted to get their rocks off without anyone knowing that it was with a man. They’d come and go, either their health improving and being discharged from the hospital, or the opposite. Either way, Whizzer didn’t see them again. He didn’t know what happened to them from there - and frankly, he didn’t care. 

They’d come, they’d fuck a few times, and they’d go. Never without too many strings attached. Just how Whizzer wanted it.

There was something different about Marvin, though. Something indescribable. He couldn’t quite place his finger on it, but there was a strange feeling, deep in his gut, that made him want to keep coming back to Marvin, to keep looking around the bars for Marvin, to keep chasing after Marvin no matter how much he knew that it would all blow up in his face. 

Marvin was just a part-timer. He wasn’t going to stay. When Marvin’s time comes, he was probably just going to stick to the “traditional way of dying and staying dead”. Everything the man did  _ reeked _ of trying to stay “traditional”.

In the end, Whizzer knew he needed to not get attached to Marvin because he knows it won’t last. 

Of course, that doesn’t mean he’s not going to have a good time while he can.

* * *

Marvin’s legs hit the edge of the bed, prompting him to sit.

Disconnecting their lips, Whizzer repositioned himself so he was on his knees in front of Marvin, his fingers making quick work of the man’s belt. He tugged Marvin’s pants down, letting them fall to his ankles - Marvin then kicked them away, leaving himself in just his boxers. Resting his hands on the shorter man’s thighs, Whizzer leaned forward, slowly beginning to mouth at the outline of Marvin’s cock.

Any other time, Marvin’s eyes would be following every movement of the man in front of him, but at that moment he couldn’t bear to look down. Marvin’s mind was racing, the same scene playing over and over in his mind. 

_ Hushed voices spilling in front the hallway just outside of the dark hospital room. Marvin couldn’t hear the full extent of the conversation, but bits and pieces would reach him. One of the voices - Trina’s - was filled with worry, telling of strange behavior she noticed in her husband. The other - belonging to his psychiatrist, Dr. Weisenbachfeld - trying to reassure her that it was nothing, while also confessing he had noticed the changes as well. _

_ All the while, Marvin had to only sit in the damned hospital bed, having assumed to be asleep. They were suspicious. He couldn’t keep doing this. It was wrong to make Trina worry like that.  _

_ It was wrong.  _

“You alright? I’ve been doing this for like five minutes and you’ve barely been responding.” Whizzer’s condescending voice pulled him from his thoughts, prompting Marvin to make eye contact with the man.

“I…” Marvin began, but the words got caught in his throat. Staring into the man’s brown eyes, guilt was rising up to his neck, clogging his lungs and making him feel like he couldn’t breathe. His mouth hung open, scrambling for the right words to say without looking like a complete idiot. 

Finally, in a moment of impulse, he dashed outside onto the beach, knocking Whizzer back onto his ass in the process.

“...What the hell.”

* * *

Warm, ocean air blew across Marvin’s bare legs as he leaned against the railing of the dock, staring out onto the water. A million thoughts ran through his head as he ran his hand through his hair, occasionally tugging at the strands at the bottom. He couldn’t believe he just ran out on Whizzer. Who does that? Awful people who cheat on their wives and panic about it while about the get a blowjob, he supposes. Sighing, he rested his face in his hands, elbows propping him up on the railing. The quiet of the beach as opposed to the loud, fast-paced music of the city gave him a moment to himself, to just think and feel his guilt in peace.

Although, this moment didn’t last long, as the sound of footsteps distracted him. Glancing over, he saw that  _ of course,  _ it was Whizzer, the usual cigarette hanging from his lips.

“Damn, was I  _ that _ bad? Because you could have just said somethi-”

“I have a wife, Whizzer,” Marvin said, cutting the taller man off. “I have a wife, and a kid, and I shouldn’t be sleeping around with another man in some...  _ fake  _ world like this. Not while they just have to sit out there, clueless.”

“Well, I’m dead, Marv,” Whizzer argued. “It’s not like it really matters.”

“It  _ does  _ matter. I can’t keep doing this to them.”

“Look, Marvin.” Whizzer put his hands on either side of Marvin’s face, forcing him to look him in the eye. “You’re  _ fine.  _ What they don’t know can’t hurt them, right? If they don’t find out, it won’t affect them at all. You’re worrying over  _ nothing. _ ” 

Honestly, Whizzer had no idea why he was trying so hard to keep Marvin happy, but that strange, indescribable feeling in his gut wouldn’t let him  _ not _ do anything.

“I guess you’re right, but I still feel bad about it. Besides,” Marvin sighed, a small smile on his face, “I fall halfway in love with any man who kisses me.” 

Whizzer’s eyes widened, his mouth falling open and struggling for words.

Before he could question it, though, Marvin disappeared before him, leaving him alone of the dock. He glanced down at his watch. Midnight.

_ ‘Shit.’ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, im not gonna make any promises for chapter four as in when it will be updated, but it will eventually, i promise
> 
> thanks!!


	4. All Fun and Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> until marv fucks things up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what up yall, im back
> 
> although im not hyperfixating on falsettos anymore, im gonna finish this fic. even if it kills me tbh
> 
> i wrote this entire chapter in like 3 hours with abba on repeat so im not super happy with how this chapter turned out, but theres some beans
> 
> enjoy i guess lmao

Not even stopping to knock, Whizzer barrelled into the living room of Charlotte and Cordelia, planting himself on the couch and proceeding to sigh into a pillow. "I fucking hate closet cases."

"Come right in, Whizzer. Yeah, go ahead and lay face down onto the couch, be our guest." Charlotte sitting in a chair adjacent, muttered without even looking up from her book.

"Whizzer's here?" Cordelia called from the kitchen. She appeared in the doorway, hair in a messy ponytail and apron around her waist, as she can usually be found. "What's wrong, Whizz?"

Whizzer picked himself up enough to look her in the eyes. " _ Marvin _ . That's what's wrong." 

Charlotte sighed, and set her book down. "Was Marvin the one who kept trying to convince you that the Quagmire 'wasn't all that bad'? The one who looked like he went through a really hard emo phase and never grew out of it, no matter how old he got?"

Scoffing, Whizzer responded. "No. That was Maxwell. The kinky bastard..." He sat up, running a hand through his hair. "Marvin. The one who keeps acting like he's the first one to ever be worried that wanting to suck a dick would make him a bad person or whatever. Do yourselves a favor. Never date men."

"Wasn't planning on it," the couple responded in unison.

Whizzer rolled his eyes and continued. " _ Anyway _ . I mean, it started out fine! It was just us occasionally fucking, and then him getting slightly introspective until midnight. Then, he got freaked out, and I didn't see him for like a month!" He fell back, putting his feet up onto the armrest of the couch. 

Cordelia walked back into the kitchen, then reappeared with three glasses of wine. She sat down in an armchair next to her wife, handing Whizzer his wine glass. "So, you're mad because he disappeared for a while? Maybe he just got better!"

Turning his head so he could look at his friends, he picked up his glass and immediately downed half of the wine. He then sighed, looking back up at the ceiling. "That's only the start of it."

* * *

 

_ Saturday night. Year... Whizzer was fairly sure it was 1979. The year system was something he could never wrap his head around. No matter what, the streets of San Junipero were full of life, packed with part-timers trying to get their weekly allowance's worth, and the scattered residents trying to get laid by someone who they won’t feel bad forgetting. Just the right kind of place for Whizzer to be.  _

_ Though, something was off about that night. He swore he could hear... _

_ "Whizzer!"  _

_ The man spun around, trying to find the source of the voice. "Marvin?" _

_ Marvin pushed past a small group of people, trying to get Whizzer's attention. When he finally caught up to him, a relieved grin spread across his face. "Finally! I've been calling you for a while now." _

_ "Well, I would say you're a sight for sore eyes, but I have to leave the cliches to you, as you're the human embodiment of one." He crossed his arms, cocking an eyebrow and plastering his trademark smirk on his face. _

_ Marvin's brow furled as he shoved his hands in his pockets defensively. "Whatever... It's not like you're free of them yourself"  _

_ "Ah yes, tragically I am a stereotype of the handsome twunk with an amazing ass." Whizzer responded, a shit-eating grin spreading across his face.  _

_ Marvin blinked. "The handsome  _ what _?" _

_ "You're just proving your point, you clueless bastard." Whizzer snorted. "But, speaking of my amazing ass..." Whizzer stepped forward, deciding that this would be much easier than sitting at the bar and finding a completely new closet case to get his rocks off with, "...maybe we should go put it to good use." _

_ Marvin’s face flushed but he still huffed out a laugh. "And you say my lines are bad." _

* * *

 

"So you didn't even ask why he was gone?" Charlotte asked, head perched in her hand.

Whizzer sighed. "No. I assumed that if he wanted me to know, he'd tell me. Anyway, that's not all."

* * *

 

_ Marvin knocked once on the door of Whizzer's all-too-familiar house before entering. "Whizzer? It's Marv..." He called out, shutting the door and walking in.  _

_ Waltzing out of his bedroom, Whizzer laughed. "Wow, you're announcing yourself when you enter now. I feel like a sitcom wife." He sat down on the couch, not bothering to address the fact that Marvin had yet to move since he'd entered the room. "You might as well be getting a martini and shouting 'Fuck Buddy, I'm home!'"  _

_ Marvin huffed out a laugh, but he stayed silent. _

_ "So," Whizzer continued, "what are you doing here during the daylight? Because I think there are other ways you could spend your time than looking for a fuck on your lunch break." He motioned for Marvin to sit down next to him. _

_ Marvin sat, placing his hands in his lap and immediately beginning to fidget with his thumbs. "I... I need to talk to you about something." He looked out towards a wsindow, avoiding eye contact with the other man. "I've been thinking, and I need to know if... if I'm... if this is..." He stumbled over his words, trying to put his words together.  _

_ "If you're gay? Let me make it simple for you, Marv. Yes." Whizzer rolled his eyes at the closeted man. _

_ "Not- I mean- I want to know if this is... really what I want. To really be with a man rather than just running around behind people's backs." Marvin ran a hand over his face and up through his hair, tugging lightly at the back.  _

_ "So, let me get this straight. You want to date me, just to see if you want to date men. Marv, the fact that you're even asking should be a red flag for you." _

_ "I know, I know... But, please just help me figure it out for sure. I need to know." Marvin finally turned his head, looking directly at the other man. "Besides," he shrugged, "you'll only have to see me a few days out of the week." _

_ Whizzer sighed, weighing the options laid out in front of him. "I guess. If it helps you get your head out of your ass and stop trying so hard to be heterosexual, then I'll do it." _

_ Marvin grinned, placing a hand over his. "Thank you so much, Whizz. You won't regret it." _

* * *

 

Cordelia's brows furled together. "You're dating him? What happened to 'no feelings, just sex'?"

Tipping his head back, Whizzer finished off his  _ fourth  _ wine of the evening. "I don't know. I just wanted him to stop being so sad and closeted, I guess. He's so dramatic about it." He sighed yet again, picking himself up. "But now, he makes me feel like I  _ am  _ a shitty sitcom housewife! Plus, he gets mad when I screw other guys, even though he  _ knows  _ I'm not just going to sit around waiting for him! And I think he's somehow getting more time than part-timers are allowed."

"Then why don't you just tell him to fuck off?" Charlotte suggested.

"I don't know. Every time I want to something in my gut stops me..." He paused, knee bouncing repeatedly on the wood flooring. "...The worst part is that he's constantly lying to them. I feel terrible about that."

Charlotte tilted her head in confusion. "Lying to who?"

"His wife and kid."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so sad alexa play despacito
> 
> i do have another chapter that i might get out soon but,, no promises lmao
> 
> edit: also!! i forgot to mention, but if anyone can spot the reference i made then ill write u something!!! it wasnt my intention, but i thought itd be fun!!

**Author's Note:**

> thanks so much to my brothers, james and jay, and to [dirtgrub](http://archiveofourown.org/users/dirtgrub) for beta-ing this!!!!!


End file.
